‘Twas the night of the office Christmas party
Not a single employee dared to be tardy.
They put on their dresses, their jackets and ties,
Spritzed on perfume and said their goodbyes.
They hopped in their cars and drove through the snow
To join their coworkers with “plus-ones” in tow.
Everyone wanted to have a good time.
But some of them ended up crossing the line.
Jan wore a dress so short and low-cut
It showed off her cleavage (and even her butt)
Michael immediately went on the defensive
When Pam pointed out that his tie was offensive
Meredith avoided the small talk with peers
Headed straight to the bar for a couple of beers
Kevin showed up a whole hour late
Went right to the buffet line and loaded his plate.
Dwight wore a t-shirt and shoes that were dirty
Erin and Andy were overly flirty
Phyllis complained of the poor wine selection
Oscar prattled on about the election.
Stanley created all kinds of strife
When he showed up with someone who wasn’t his wife
Ryan’s new iPhone was glued to his ear
But Toby in HR had no power here.
When karaoke started, Roy sang a tune
So inappropriate it cleared out the room
Darryl’s “white elephant” gift was a gag
That book of erotica should have stayed in the bag
Kelly gossiped about the folks in receiving
Creed filled his pockets with silverware before leaving
Jim was the lone voice of reason, quite sadly:
The only employee who did not act badly.
Jim’s behavior was noticed; his boss gave him praise
And his next review came with a generous raise.
There’s a lesson to this fable you should never forget:
At your next office party, practice good etiquette.